Moments of Adversity

Adversity is “a state or instance of serious or continued difficult misfortune,” as defined by Merriam-Webster.

We all face Moments of Adversity in our lifetimes. A moment of adversity could be the end of a relationship, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, being diagnosed with a serious illness or in my case, facing my alcoholism.

It is a fact for everyone that we will face one or all these moments of adversity and many others. You are likely to face all these adversities more than once in your life. You cannot change that. What you can decide is what you do when you reach a moment of adversity.

In the past, I have cried, pouted, drank, been destructive and angry, and adopted a “woe is me” attitude, feeling like these things only happen to me. It was only when I realized that at these moments, I had a choice to make that my life changed. Since I couldn’t change what had happened, I had to ask myself if I was going to let this moment lead me into another moment of adversity or if I was going to decide what was next for me. It is my choice how I will respond to my moments of adversity.

When I was drinking excessively and my alcoholism was going untreated, every time I decided to drink, I made my moment of adversity result in more moments of adversity. It was only when I chose to accept and treat my alcoholism that I avoided another “self-inflicted” moment of adversity.

After several relationship break-ups, rather than taking my time to heal, I rushed into other relationships quickly, only to lead to additional moments of adversity because I wasn’t ready for my next relationship and had not taken time to get to know the other person well enough to have a relationship with them.

In one case, I combined a too-quick relationship with drinking to cope with this situation, which led to the loss of a job and more drinking which led to financial issues. Had I taken the time to make the right decision about the relationship, the other events are not likely to have happened…but they did…and now I have learned from the decisions I made during these moments of adversity.
While it is appropriate to mourn the loss of a loved one, please remember to celebrate their life.

While it is understandable to be sad over the end of a relationship – especially if it wasn’t your choice to end it — don’t forget to learn lessons from the experience. I have learned not to jump into a new relationship and to communicate better when in a relationship.

When you face your next moment of adversity, acknowledge that everyone faces these moments, that it is part of life, look for the lesson, look for the next step forward that will lead you to your desired life. Life is moving forward, move forward with it. Don’t get stuck in this moment of adversity.